Woman: I would like to report a mugging. Last year was drunk running around the street. I met a man who told me a sob story about her owing $1000 rent. He was very convincing. I felt so loving and caring that I just went with her to the ATM and gave her $1000. Now that I am sober, and after ruminating for a few months, I am sorry I gave the money and want to report this robbery. He deserves jail.

• In  a normal non-rape context, the receiving person might be asked to return the money. But never would he be jailed for robbery for accepting money from a lightly drunk stranger. Much less if she complained 6 months after the fact.

Officer: You are very brave for coming forward. If you were drunk and driving, you would be arrested, but since you were just drunk and stupid, you’re a poor helpless victim. What monster could have done this to you?

Woman: His name is Joe Smith.

Officer: Well, we will go to his place of employment and very loudly announce that he is under arrest for such a terrible crime. He will probably lose his job just due to the accusation. If he is well known, even though he has not yet been tried, we will plaster his face over all newspapers and news channels. Luckily our society is one which no longer believes that "innocent until proven guilty" hogwash, we now have a "let’s hang him just to be safe" approach to crime. He will probably receive death threats, abuse from strangers in public, and may even be forced to move over this allegation.

Woman: Wow, that is great for revenge. What about the trial?

Officer: Even though we have no evidence other than your accusation, we will charge him, as no further evidence is needed thanks to new laws. If he takes it to trial, he will probably spend 15 years in prison, and will be the brunt of abuse of other inmates. Most likely however, the 15 year sentence will scare him enough that he will plead out. He will be in prison for 4-10 years, then when he get out and be on a public registry. If he has children he may never see them again. He will forever be ridiculed by the public and in a sense be a pariah.

Woman: And if after he has spent 7 years in prison, you find out I lied?

Officer: The DA will probably not even file charges, unless there is clear proof you knowingly and maliciously falsely accused the person. This is almost impossible, because you filed charges 6 months after the crime.  If there is absolutely convincing proof, or your confession, you will have to pay a $150 fine. If you have bad luck, we will sentence you to a year probation. We will try to keep it quiet, otherwise other mugging victims may not come forward. He may or may not be released. It helps us if he’s not because now our D.A. and police department can run around and show everyone that we’re doing a great job getting another violent, misanthropic criminal off of the street. It’s win win for everyone, and if he complains about how his life is ruined, he should just man up and get over it.

Woman: Oh no! But what happens if I want to report another mugging after you find out I have been lying?

Officer: Thanks to mugging shield laws, it can never be brought up at trial, you can put as many men in prison as you like.

Woman: Well, if that’s the case, then I want to report another mugging. Bob Johnson, the cab driver, had mugged me a few nights ago. I know that he had me arrested because I had taken the ride and didn’t have any money to pay him, but it was really because he mugged me.

Officer: We will drop all charges against you and arrest Bob Johnson immediately.

Woman: A year ago I reported a (real) robbery. I had been walking around in a bad neighborhood, flashing my money around and someone threatened me with a knife and took my money. Police officer Miller took my report and actually brought the case to trial. But Miller also also told me that it is unwise to walk around drunk flashing cash at night in a bad neighborhood. That is victim blaming.  What sort of world is this where a woman can’t even run around drunk flashing all of his cash and become a victim of unwanted attention?

Wait, there is more! This article continues! Leia o resto desse post » »
If mugging laws were like rape laws » continues here »